Chiropractic adjustment with Paul McCrossin

Sailing Adriatic sea - Hvar, Croatia

Deep breath in, expanding your diaphragm, deep breath out... and the diaphragm relaxes. Deep breath in, repeat and out...

I've been having tense and at times quite painful upper belly for months - since April. I haven't talked about it to my chiropractic as he works on my spine and I didn't think his methods would work on my belly. Yet tonight, after I last time told him about my issue and worry that something might be seriously wrong with my stomach, he gave me an amazing strong upper belly massage. Really deep release. 

And he showed me how to breathe. With life expanding breaths. And he showed me:''You are mostly like this... [slouching] and your diaphragm is contracting.''

And I got it. I organised myself a really sweet, small, protected life. I manage my job well as it is small, small responsibilities, maybe being smiley a bit and I go by. I do not open up for a new man with a good excuse of being too busy, yet I do not open up as a man in my life means a threat to my organised lifestyle. I don't finish my book writing because ''what if a book is a disaster'' - it will make me feel miserable, but even more ''what if my book is a success'' - and I will be exposed to lots of stress and facing the unknown...

My Serbian coffee cup reader says: ''This scenario that you are writing... do that, this will be a success.'' It makes me feel excited, yet also paralyzed.

I am slouching, protecting my littleness. Little lungs, little heart, and now my stomach says it doesn't want to be little. Let's eat big!

I am going to write tonight, forgetting the healthy sleep hours. I need a breakthrough of the slouching littleness.

And if you live in London, a visit to a chiropractor Paul McCrossin http://www.finchleychiro.co.uk  is highly recommended. I spend 45 min on a tube each way to get to him. 

           

Chopra Centre Miraculous Dynamism mp3 meditation

Hi! :)

Hope you've found plenty of ear pleasing meditations on my blog. Here there is one introduced by Oprah Winfrey and led my Deepak Chopra. Enjoy: Chopra Centre mp3 meditation. I am seeing a healer John Vesey in Teddington again tonight. Looking forward to my growth and healing. Bisous 

Living Passionately

Last evening of my Living Passionately course tonight. It was great to meet up all these interesting people there, as well as more advanced writers and get feedback from one of them. I also got that I am more vital if I am active than when I hold myself back saving energy for ''important'' work. I did practice to live every day in the same gorgeous feelings like being on a retreat - it went well for a week... I guess I need to make a conscious decision to do it daily. And I did get practical tools to navigate the beginnings of my new relationship. Redesigned relationship better said, as we know each other with my sweetheart for many years. I guess I've learned many other little extras on the way, looking forward to conclude my journey and continue in more relaxing healing waters for a while.  

Pilates class - twice today!

Talked today to my colleagues at work how bad is our posture during 8 hours a day computer focused job. I've showed them the exercises my chiropractor asked me to do to even out my right shoulder as the effect of holding to the mouse is making one of my shoulders be higher than the other. The thing is I know the exercise but I do it very rarely. We do a lot of these stretch ups at pilates class so I've decided I will attend two today - one happened at lunch time and running to another one now. I feel so fabulous in my body when properly stretched! :-))  

Au revoir x    

Richard Gere on Meaning of Life

Richard Gere

We were discussing our purposes with my neighbor last night and I got her thinking with something I've just discovered for myself. Of course I have the grande purpose of ''inner peace for all'' and than even more grande one: ''I inspire people to grow'' but how I am really living shows: My life is simple, easy to manage, small. Because I like to have an overlook, control, feeling safe. 

Researching other people's meanings of life, came across Richard Gere: Richard Gere on Meaning of Life

What is your life's purpose? 

Simple

Easy times

Wonderful long weekend. I've sunbathed in the park and decluttered one third of my home. Feels much fresher and can't wait to finish the rest next weekend. I've recharged and am back to normal energy levels after a period of feeling really drained. 

Thinking about how to continue with my meditation/living inside out explorations. One major portion of my time will be for a while invested in studying how to write: structure, language... I thought I can write well without it but after I got a very sharp feedback from one of the guys reading my work, I've realized he has a point. I am going to go back to regular simple posts of my meditation practise and will not pressurized myself with too deep stuff, except if I get really inspired by it. So my hanging out with all of you meditators will be like hanging out with good friends with a bottle of something that makes you happy. 

Au revoir x

  

Self-worth?

So much soothing and nurturing energy at our women's meetings... I always get to relax way deeper than normally. We discussed self worth  - when do we feel that we have it and when do we lose it. 

I still feel the burn in my stomach so I think I will first dedicate myself to heal this, before going into other ''deep'' topics.

Hope you are all well and enjoying the lovely Chopra Centre meditations x

Living life inside out - one month recap

Tomorrow I am attending the next  Women in Livingness meeting. I've decided last month that I will keep myself on track with this diary and really live my life from inside out. It worked for a while, than I got distracted with a trip home, and painful mouth ulcers as I returned. Spent an hour in meditation with Chopra centre today and I feel recharged and ready to continue.

Looking forward to tomorrow's work with the group and now good night :) Sticking to my most supporting activity to settle inside myself which is an early night xx  

Healing

Merci

Came back to London with a burn in my stomach. I've eaten quite healthy so I don't think I've got it from food... 

Relaxing with healing attention on my stomach. 

New round of Chopra Centre meditation challenge

New round of Chopra Centre meditation challenge has started a few days ago. I am looking forward to listen to their meditations together with thousands of other people this evening and over Easter. 

Join us on: 21 day Chopra Centre Meditation Challenge 

Authenticity

Flying home to Slovenia this morning! Looking forward to see my dear family! x
I am going to work on being fully authentic, not trying to look good in my mum and dad's eyes.
And you?  

Keeping my essence protected

with Tamara Machavariani

How to keep unaffected by reactions of other people? Particularly negative reactions... That's what I am taking on today. My boss has ''before going away'' nervousness and I feel weak because of the new relationship that needs lots of adjustment work, and than I am even more open to receive nervousness and other negative influences from others. 

It is great if I could choose and only surround myself with people that fill me up positively like Tamara on the pic. But than again, who is really always positive? I need to stay deep in me and not let me be affected by other people. Enjoying the presence of my own delicious essence.  

Connecting to inner bliss

Winning team - Oxford 

Today I am again recalling the experience I had at the seaside retreat on a Croatian island Brac. Feeling so free, loving, happy, everything will be well... Nothing was too big of an obstacle, I was in the feeling of bliss. I want it back for good! Need to remind myself every couple of minutes that this is what I am practicing, otherwise I slip back into my normal, can't wait till 5pm (end of work) time.   

Rhythm

Team Cambridge

A couple of days with messy ''going to sleep'' rhythm and I am not well connected to myself. Can't wait for a relaxing evening and meditation.

x

Yesterday's team Cambridge. Lost the game, but hopefully gain a valuable life lesson.    

Cheers!

Boat race watching

I came to this planet on today's date 39 years ago.  That's a lot of years though it feels they've passed by so quickly! Looking back: from a frustrated and angry teenager I've developed into a young woman enjoying in peace coming from meditation, enjoying seaside retreats, than had a couple of years to taste the business life in London, and now peaceful enjoyable life with friends, reading, exploring anything that interests me. Cheers!! to me :)

Inner life - Outside life by Douglas LaBier

''Your inner life is the foundation for moving transformation forward, for knowing how and why you're living and using your capacities in the ways that you do. With a strong inner life you feel grounded and anchored. You know who you are, what you're truly living for and how to keep evolving towards it.'' Douglas LaBier

I am inspiring myself to connect to my inner world with a blog post from Douglas LaBier: Redefine success through living an inside-out life.

Cookies!

Rebecca's baking

Living my life from inside out. 

My inside is today a bit foggy, missing communication with my sweetheart, having the clearing part of the month, plus distracted by bake sale and busy time at work. It's the writing of this post that is getting me to be connected to it again...

:) wishing you all to feel the sweet connection with yourself  

Healing session with Sara Williams

Tower Bridge, London

I've started the day with a healing session by Sara Williams. We've discussed my upper belly sensitivity and tension and how that shows that I am leaving myself to be with other people, adjusting myself to all the roles that I am playing in life. I've been working with Landmark and with esoteric healing group on being authentic all the time. (Sara Williams is an esoteric healing practitioner:  Spherical living ). 

I really want to be me, authentic version of me all the time, but I guess my whole life learnt behavior of  being reserved, having barriers and protection, handling situations diplomatically has an effect that I am not an authentic but very guarded version of me. 

Will take this on - starting with the morning feeling ''being inside of my body'' and than keeping that all the way through. Letting people in.     

Choosing the delicate part of my life

We were very diligent last night and each member of our group got to go deeper into what is hard to accept in our lives. I really love this group, each member brings something interesting to my life. One of the members is a writer, been writing for 20 years and can give me great tips on book structure and engaging writing. He also keeps on telling me I am too much on a plate relationship wise. Well, yes I guess I can take that on. Another is a very fashionable and exquisite photographer. A lovely man, makes me feel very warm and protected when around. A Russian girl, brings in clarity and focus to our work, also gives me lots of practical tips of how to navigate early stages of a relationship. A Belgium girl, so delicately French... Last night we met at her apartment which she presented as run down, and not really presentable, and it is so lovely! Next to Sloane Square, Chelsea (one of best London areas) on both sides of the building lovely parks with wonderful bushes and flowers... And in the flat itself, candles and special tea pots which made me feel like in a cupcake shop. And a very feminine and pretty girl Asian origin. 

What I discovered last night was that the pain I am feeling missing my significant person calling me more often is connected to my missing contacts with my father after he got more busy with his career. Same point as I came to with the previous set of sex and intimacy seminars. I thought I have resolved it than but obviously I didn't. Tonight might meet a friend that is doing lots of family constellations work and lets see where this brings me. 

I love the delicateness in me. 

I do feel a bit delicate right now.      

Choose your life

Today I will be doing the exercise with my fellow Landmark classmates on choosing everything in my life. It is not difficult to choose the good things, it is difficult to choose the annoying and challenging ones. My most challenging area at the moment is choosing and accepting that my significant person is very independent and does not miss me as I do. Will test if the exercise really makes me accept that.  

Om Namah Shivaya

Liz Gilbert

My physically exhausted body is swimming in the expansion the mantra ''Om Namah Shivaya'' provides. 

I heard about it from writer Elizabeth Gilbert in her book Eat Pray Love. She says she adores it and explains its meaning as “I honor the divinity within me.” 

I do honor the divinity within me. The delicateness within.

And I do love Elizabeth Gilbert's writing, she writes so deliciously it completely takes me over. Imagining we are chanting together: Om Namah Shivaya. Liz, you and me...  Bonne nuit!   

Delicateness within

Worked whole day, right now best medicine for me going deeper into me is a good sleep. Had a challenge as I was team leading today and I am normally pretty individualistic, taking care that my job is done well, don't like to be responsible for other people... But it went quite well and I actually enjoyed it. 

Reflecting on Adrienne Ryan's explorations of our delicateness within: Re-discovering the delicateness within. Lovely. 

Good night x  

Sing a song! ;)

Momcilo Bajagic

I've decided to take it today lightly, no deep digging, I am happy as a singer that I listened to in my teenage years is coming to London and I will be able to enjoy his concert.

Hey, sing with me ;) - the singer from Serbia, Balkan  - Momcilo Bajagic - Bajaga

Vulnerability

Slovene Kurents dancing - to cheer me up ;)

Yesterday I took a look into my vulnerability. Why do certain things still pain me though I do know I am amazing, made of love, universal energy, and everything is perfect in any moment as it is? 

I explored a bit on how other people grow through this. Found a blog post of a woman whose issues were with body image which is not my topic, but the pain of other people not being caring towards me is kind of similar to hers. Blog post here: A vulnerable moment.

If I understand that everything is in balance, and somebody that keeps on kicking me at a place I would without that kicking feel very comfortable at, well, why is that so? I am prone to be comfortable and enjoy comfort and than not move much and at a snail speed. So why am I not grateful for this person's effort? (keeping this now in mind and it helps a tiny little bit, I need to expand on awareness of it). And the second person, which is a very dear person in my life for quite a while, yet it pains me as this person does not have as much need for our spending time together as I do. Why is this so? And why is it so painful? Liz Gilbert from Eat, Pray, Love would say find a man that can feed you with as much energy (attention) as you need. That could be one way. Another way is that I learn to self-feed. Not missing the attention as my life is anyway with or without it glorious. Wow! That's a fabulous mission to accomplish!   

Au revoir! x

Feeling whole and complete

If I am really settled in me and living out of my inner centre nothing can really hurt or pain me regarding reactions to me from people around. I am whole and complete. That is how I sometimes feel. Very rarely. Today I am obviously not really connected to my centre as I worry about two people's reactions on me. 

I am going to look into this more deeply in the following days, looking for a way to feel whole and complete, connected to the amazing inside of me all the time.  

''Being settled in me''

The number one thing that settles me inside my body is having time to do my morning routine before my day starts. I looked into why am I often not waking up the right time, cozily staying in bed, or going to bed too late, with the help of Landmark's ''Living life with purpose, grace and ease'' seminar and now it got really easy to go to sleep the right time and wake up early so I do have time for settling in me.

We've done a couple of exercises of what I do chose and what I don't chose inside of life I live and they made all the difference. I am now living with ease and grace and not out of a struggle like: ''Oh, it is so difficult to get out of bed!'' The other ''oh'' prevails: ''Oh, going into the world in a state of ''being settled in me'' is so delicious!'' 

:) good morning! bon jour!

Living life from inside out - daily practice

Cotswold's pretty paths

I've been attending meetings of a women's group of esoteric practice for more than three years. I still find it a challenge to keep the awareness of living life from the inside out present with me through daily life. Yes, I remember it most mornings and most evenings. During the day, my body, my mind and everything else I consist of mostly goes on autopilot performing tasks that are needed at work. Yes, sometimes I vaguely remember my practice and than I get swallowed by the next task. 

This blog supported me greatly to make meditation part of my daily life habits again. I will use it in the next period to establish a stronger habit of esoteric way of life. Esoteric meaning living life from inside out. 

I know it sounds philosophical, I had moments or days when I felt: wow, this is so delicious! and than I lost it and ... Yesterday afternoon at the women's meeting I felt it again. I want it now to stay with me forever.

Here is the website explaining a bit about the reason behind women's meetings: Esoteric group women's meetings.  

Vitality comes from being engaged and active

Slovene masquerade in London

Resting and relaxing after a pleasant day in the office. Going into deep meditation a bit later. This week I am training patience and softness coming from being centered. There is something new on the horizon of my relationship life and I am training to stay grounded without too much attachment to the outcome.     

I've also started a new round of Landmark's evening seminars: ''Living passionately'' which coaches you into life with purpose, grace and ease. One thing that really hit me and I am using it now is: ''Vitality comes from being active.'' I would often think I need to rest and pause more during long hours at work, yet in reality if I keep a steady flow of engaged and contributing work, I am less tired and more vital at the end of the day. I've met a couple of really lovely people at the seminar, one of them an author, who gave me a very constructive and useful feedback on my writing technique which I am now learning to improve. Enjoy your meditations x

Meditation as a new habit

Meditation became part of my daily routine again and that was my intention when I started with daily blog posts. I do it either in the morning or evening. If you are struggling with creating a habit for your daily practice here is a great blog to encourage you with it: 10-steps-for-starting-new-habit-and-creating-lasting-change  

And do go to the beginning of my blog and each day read a post and listen to one of the meditation videos. I am sure if you follow through for 3 months your brain will get used it and create a new habit.

I will be posting from now on weekly as the writing part of my day became very busy. Need to rewrite entire diary into a story. It is going to be an amazing inspirational story!! :-)

Bisous

Integrity

Saturday night

I've been a bit sloopy lately with my postings, though I still practice meditation regularly. There is no real excuse for it, I just got carried away with things happening around me. 

Don't worry, be happy :)

Let me know how your practice is going.

Feeling of bliss

I am working on feeling blissful 24/7 like after a long long meditation retreat at the sea.
What are you working on?

Shavasana mmmmm

Feeling nicely relaxed after shavasana with Sebastian. His yoga teaching is full of playful and chill presence. Now I can transmit it to everyone I meet :)

Have a friend who started listening to meditation videos I recommend and he finds it boring. Well, if I want to develop toned muscles and better cardio rate I need to practice. He would like to be more peaceful and handle pressure and stress better. With a touch of a magic wand. 

If you find meditation boring (because your consciousness has not yet realized its full benefit), go for a massage, with a masseur that is quiet, no talking, and handles you well, or go for a walk through the woods. Alone. Phone switched off. Yoga is of course a good start as well. 

Namaste :-)  mmmm

New attack of tiredness

New attack of tiredness. My teacher Savina Atai says that the spring tiredness you heal with action, movement, growth; not with relaxation as the winter tiredness. I've moved a lot today, but went to bed late last night as looked at funny video clips from the Oscars. So am going to go to bed early tonight. Enjoy your meditations!  

Cultural exploration

          Karađorđe Petrovic

Resting and relaxing Saturday. People at Serbian event last night were very warm&friendly. Learnt a bit about Serbian history, Karađorđe Petrovic was the founder of modern Serbia.

Playing with the edit now.

Meditate well!

Zen journey

Regents park, London

Relaxing with the Zen journey series - Zen journey. 

Going to an event at Serbian embassy tonight. Love to hear how other people see my country. Serbia used to be part of my country, so I still take it as something close to me.    

Relax and sleep well x

:))

Regents park, London

Head clear, cold almost gone. Last night's immune system boost meditation did have a speedy recovery effect. 

Enjoy your meditations and let me know how you are all doing :)   

Meditation for healing a cold

Regents Park flowers

My back is now healed as if there was never any stiffness there. I've visited chiropractic, done pilates and yoga (carefully) and a lot of focus softening of the back muscles. Very simple relaxation into every group of muscles around my spine, shoulders, hips... Meditation focused on my back. 

As this is sorted, windy and cold weather and friends with cold brought me a special present of full nose and occasional wild sneezing. So here we go: Immune Boost Guided Visualization. Enjoy! x    

How long shall I meditate for?

I am going through another cold. Less than two months after I've been through the previous one.

In my seven years of wellbeing centre career I had only had a flu once. Once in seven years. My working hours there were often 9am - 8pm, with a break for lunch in between. I've eaten less than I do now, I've slept less, though I had better health. Better immune system. 

Now I work in preventive medicine field and we are throwing cold at each other like a table tennis ball. What is going on?        

Will I have to go back to regular hour meditation practice per day?

Deepak Chopra meditates at least two hours a day, I've heard him saying in one of the interviews. Why do I think that I can get results easy, without that many hours invested?

How long should you meditate? An interesting thought about it here: How long shall I meditate for?

Considering my aspirations to understand and love the whole world, I definitely need to increase the time.

Sleep well x

  

19 pages of edit

19 pages of edit more... I got a bit blocked and just couldn't do anything for a couple of days, so last night I said I will not go to sleep until I edit at least two pages. And I did, went to bed just before 1am, looking awful now, but it feels great! Moving on! :-)

Saturday morning with Savina Atai

Savina Atai

Started Saturday morning with one hour meditative relaxation for my back and with Savina Atai's DVD of exercises and self massage. Feeling more vital and ready to go out and catch the sunshine!

Relax well sweethearts! :-)

Deep relaxation for back pain problems

Research on back problems showed me strong connection of back aches with stiffness. Stiffness because of sedentary work, focus on computer screen, generally feeling rigid... So I am relaxing into my back through today's silent meditation. Relax, soften, relax with attention on my back. Wishing you all healthy backs my friends!  

Lower back pain

Mmm, strudel from Cafe du Marche 

Woke up on Saturday with a very stiff lower back which is today even more in pain. Better after yesterday's pilates, this morning again sore. Yoga teacher Sebastian massaged me with green thai oil during lunch time which is now making me feel tingly but pretty pleasant in that area. Will spent Saturday healing this pain,  reading now about what causes it:   Deepak Chopra on back pain

I think I fit most of the causes described on Deepak's post. I might have been stressing myself too much with the ''relationship'' or lack of the romantic relationship in my life around Valentine's time.

Wishing you great meditation time everyone, lots of love x  

Looking for a publishing agent

My next goal is finding a publishing agent that will love my work in the next three months. Edit almost done. Happy!! :-)

Happy!!

Spreading the Brit awards vibe: Cause I am happy :)

For the love of French

Tired and feeling lonely so just meditation will not do it for me tonight. Found this wonderful topic: Are French Men Irresistible? to take me into the dream world. Definitely agree with writer Tish Jett on her number one top reason why French men are irresistible. Mmmm...

Feeling hungry now...     Bisous xx

Forget the world

Forget the world, relax... Been working whole day, ready for the mystical tibetan experience and sweet sleep.

Tibetan bowls meditation 

Good night x

Heart meditation

One for tonight: Meditation for your Heart  Enjoy x

29 pages of edit and then...

Relaxed and meditated. Though I am a bit sad as mum told me she misses me. I have to edit and write faster to have more time for her. Been good today with editing, only 29 pages are still awaiting me, than I can start posting my work around, praying and ''see what happens''. 

Au revoir! x

Iyengar Yoga

''Health is a state of complete harmony of the body, mind and spirit. When one is free from physical disabilities and mental distractions, the gates of the soul open'' by Iyengar . Going to stretch and center with Iyengar yoga now. 

Fresh air and a walk

Meditated but can't really relax properly in the last few days. So I will go now for a walk with friends that live on the outskirts in a very green part of London. It's a bright day here, enjoy your Sunday!

Savina Atai - a pearl from Slovenia

Savina Atai

Started today's morning with  40 min of exercises and self-massage from Savina Atai's DVD. Refreshed, peaceful and vital. It is in Slovene language, as soon as I find something hers in English will share with you.

So beside messy and confused politics and some of the economy struggling, Slovenia has pearls. Savina Atai is for me one of the brightest. 

Short break - deep relaxation

with lovely  Slovene photographer Arne Hodalic 

Read slowly. Follow instructions through. 

Deep breath in, deep breath out. Deep breath in, and ... out. Relax your shoulders. Relax into your chest. Softly expand your belly during breathing. Relax into your hips and legs, down your calves and into your feet. 

Whole body is soft, enjoying deep relaxation. If you feel tiredness coming out make sure you rest more over the weekend. If there is pain somewhere relax into that area even more.  

Sit in quiet. Close your eyes for a few minutes. 

And now relax even deeper. Take yourself deeper. Allow yourself to relax really really deep.
Enjoy energy refreshment  x 

Yoga with Sebastian

Yoga with Sebastian now to cool me off :)
Love the new Facebook 10 year anniversary video feature - really sweet!  

Energy training

Last night we discussed the word energy with a friend of mine. I always talk about training energy, as that's the vocabulary we were using at shen qi and energy rejuvenation training. It is a wording that is very broad and vague for someone that hasn't done that. Training energy actually in my case means taking care of my health and wellbeing and meditating for inner peace and calmness. When I am calm, I can make healthy decisions and enjoy life more. Words - can include and exclude people. I am now going to use a more all including expressions. 

Namaste 

Calmness

Let today be calm, recharging: Calmness with Nawang Khechog

I got my peace yesterday after I've read through Slovene papers and understood Slovenia's up to date politics a bit more. It is still in its teenage years so it doesn't have a calmness effect. But then which country is really mature to have that?

enjoy your day :)

Gratitude

with Ritesh Chaturvedi

Sometimes you need one person to express their belief in you and it can move further your entire life. Through today's meditation I am feeling gratitude towards those people in my life. 

Ritesh that I met this evening might just be one of those people. 

Good night :)  

Slovenia - in lots of pictures!

You know I like to discuss here whatever currently presses me and looks like my love for my home country got reawakened by recent events. Here is a sweet blog from someone that has been living in Slovenia for a couple of years and posted lots of pretty pictures and also interesting observations to know about the country: So you want to go to Slovenia?

A short history of Slovenia

Bled, Slovenia

This recent event of comparing Slovenia with North Korea by a person that actually lives in Slovenia, made me restless. I couldn't sleep last night either so I went and read more of our recent history and how it actually came about, that a certain group of people feels so much repression and resentment in our space. Slovenes have been living in the current space for more than a 1000 years. We had our own country for a bit less than 200 years and then we were always part of some other bigger unit. We kept our language, protestants helped a lot with printing bible in domestic language, and in 1848 Slovenes required more rights and more independence from Austro-Hungarians. They were not happy with the conditions so in 1918 they joined a Kingdom of Serbs, Croatians and Slovenes. The kingdom had a parliament made of members of different political parties. The Nazis invaded in 1941. And Italians and Hungarians and even our cousins Croatians. King flew to London and led his army from London. There were more defense groups formed. Some had a vision to cooperate with Nazis and negotiate more independence from them, some decided to fight for total freedom. Partisans we one of those ''total freedom''groups. They were made of different clubs and organisations. One of the groups was a communist party which in 1937 had only 250 members. They started with their guerrilla fight activities against Germans and Italians. Germans had a rule for every killed German soldier, 10 Slovenes were shot dead. They also deported lots of Slovenes to concentration camps and they had a plan to actually denationalize our space (move Slovenes out of Slovenia, move Germans and others to our territory, so Slovenes would eventually forget we were Slovenes). Now if you were Slovene you either were waiting at home when is your time to be shot or sent to a concentration camp or you joined or helped one of the fighters groups. Which one? Probably the one that most of your family and friends supported. Sometimes I imagine even family members had divided opinions which side to take. The one that cooperates with Nazis and sees less damage to the nation will be made this way, or the ones that wanted total freedom? Or the kings army?

Partisans during the course of the war became the strongest fighting force against Nazis and Fascist. They got recognized by allies from the west (UK, US) and east (Soviet Union). Slovene force that was for cooperation with Nazis fought and was killing partisans. One of the reasons was also because communist party became the strongest politically among partisans and said that after the war the government will be formed by members of its party.  

End of the war. All invaders are going home. Germans, Italians and also allies go home. Yugoslavia and Slovenia are free from invaders. But there is a strong danger of civil war. How can you live next to your neighbor that fought against you and killed your brothers, friends? What would stop the force that was for cooperation with Nazis to not step together and try to get in power, overtake government etc.? It is 1945. You fought on the side of partisans. Meaning you slept in the woods, were frozen, hungry, frightened... What do you do? You make sure any danger to your peace and freedom is removed. I get violent when I am tired and my next door neighbor has his TV loud on. Horrible things continued to happen and more people had been killed and imprisoned. When having a strong judgement about this in today's times of safety, warm shelter and food on the table please make yourself go back in time. I don't think any of us who did not experience the horror of the war can imagine how that effects you.

Lots of people were killed after the war to make sure peace stays in the country. 1948 Yugoslavia decided to break up with communism and develop its own economic system. There was a danger Soviet Union will attack us. Again anyone suspicious to be a Soviet spy got imprisoned or killed. Till early 90s most leadership positions in the country politically and economically were made of people that either were or supported partisans or were people that returned from concentration camps. Yes, till early 70s anyone that had stronger opinions and represented a danger was warned, and imprisoned or killed. But in the 70s, these are the times when my parents got active, and if you wanted to be active in the community you had to join communist party, there was space to have different opinions, space to say no to something you disagreed with. And you did not go straight to prison for that. Until 90s when Slovenia became independent and we got a system with more political parties. 

Do we have to be resentful to all that was happening from 1941 - 1990s? We do exist as a nation because of partisans that were politically overtaken by communism. We might have the same destiny as Slovenes that lived in Trieste (today Italy) if we waited for US, UK, NZ and other allies to save us. I am personally proud of every single Slovene that stood up and said enough of this 1000 years of tyranny of the Germanic and Italian nations. It is my personal opinion not every Slovene carries. You might have a different opinion. But this is all now history.

Contemporary Slovenia is learning to integrate economic system of the West. Some people adjusted well, some are struggling. Young population knows they don't have much choice. They have to be entrepreneurial and find their way or sit at home all depressed as there are not many jobs out there. It's not easy. But I much rather have this than going back to 1941. 

           

With love and peace

Can't sleep, digesting a recent event

Can't sleep still steaming...

Director of a pretty famous movie from Slovenia came to London, had questions and answers session and said we lived like in Northern Korea 20 years ago. Beside everything good that happened in our country, people stood up, fought against Nazis, when many other nations bowed down in front of them, before 1950 stood up again, we are a country that is not communism and not capitalism we will invent our own economic system, a country which at the end of 1945 was left with more or less nothing, but was able to develop pretty well with the preconditions it had. Well no, he wouldn’t mention any of that. In Britain we are considered an unimportant and unknown country. Eastern Europe is not posh and not the most respected, and yes we are not central Europe but eastern for our British friends. And there he comes, someone who is really good at his craft of making movies and says the same: well yeah, we have just been Northern Korea. If I was an investor for that movie from Slovenia, I would want my money back. 

Gute Nacht

Holland park

It has been a while since I started to write this blog. To help me get back into regular daily meditation practice. It worked. I've just finished my 30 min sitting. Yes, longer than usual mostly as I feel tired... though I also called my guides to get in touch with me and let me know they are present. Nothing happened, no sign. I guess I don't know how to address them. 

Most of the readers are this week from Germany so: Gute Nacht, meine lieben Freunde :)

My first blog post:
http://lifelovemeditationdiary.blogspot.co.uk/2013/08/daily-meditation.html

G'day with my favorite men

For a good day start: Surprise!! :-)

Where do you eat?

Been to a great lecture on food, big food companies and what kind of everyday choices we all make. If you live in UK or US and still shop in supermarkets, the article is for you: Obesity in US and UK. Even if you are not close to obesity like me, the level of sugar and substances that are not good for your body in all the processed, or even non processed food and drinks that are sold in shops today is enormous. I have luck to live close to Planet Organic and already do a lot of my food shopping there. You might have access to a local farmers market. You - might be living in France. They have the lowest rate of obesity in Europe, though it is also alarmingly growing. Where do you eat? (it's not funny, big food companies will sell you anything for a good profit). Meditating on this one tonight.     

Guided meditation for Trudie Styler

Hi, if you wish to add variety and follow a guided meditation here is a quick 5min featuring Trudie Styler: Guided meditation

Meditation Ellen DeGeneres style

:-) Ellen's experiences with meditation:  Ellen DeGeneres on Meditation 

Meditation on Parisian styling

Hi! If you are following my blog you know that one of my loves beside feeling totally at peace is style, particularly french style at the moment. I took almost an hour to really deeply relax today, silent meditation, sitting in silence letting the thoughts pass by if they appear (they do appear to me :), and now I want to induce myself with a bit of french styling spirit. My style is still not consistent, sometimes I really like how I look, sometimes I see myself in the shop window and I say, gosh, I was rushing too much and not taking care of appearance again...

Join my parisian meditation and post some photos lovelies ;)
Parisian style

Procreation

Last night dinner

Feeling nostalgic... Had a great dinner and late night last night. Throws me out of balance immediately. Makes me want: the guy I dated last year around this time. Makes me want Slovene singer Jan Plestenjak (same as quarter of Slovene population - female gender). Makes me want... Makes me basically want to go out of me and want a man. Maybe this is natural as how would we otherwise procreate if I always feel in balance and I don't need anyone?
Au revoir...

Another example on how to start

I am quite regularly meditating with my neighbors and the most common question new meditators have is How to start? Well, you just sit down and start :-). The following article about Sandra Shpilberg's start is cute: My start of meditation practise

4 Commonly Asked Questions About Starting a Meditation Practice

So you want to start daily meditation practice and then you have all kind of questions in your head: will it work for you, how long should you do it... Here is an interesting link answering those questions: 4 Commonly Asked Questions About Starting a Meditation Practice  

One of the topics: How will I know when I "get it"?

This is very individualized. Typically in my group classes it takes a minimum of four classes for some sort of ah-ha moment. Now, as you may know, I always recommend group classes because they accelerate the meditation experience. Again, meditation is not about rushing or trying to get somewhere, yet doing work with others in a trusting           environment deepens your practice quicker. Just is what it is. And, it sure helps when you also have a teacher who can guide you.

Sleep

Had a step class last night at 6pm and couldn't fall asleep till after 12pm. So step class in the evening will definitely not be on my agenda again. It was fun though and I relaxed well with meditation, but my heart rate was obviously way too high to sleep... Sticking with my early bed routine. x   

10 min pre-bed meditation

Close your eyes gently and take a deep breath. Now in order to read further you have to open them again. Relax your shoulders. Relax them really well. Straighten and relax your pine. Relax your hips, and your belly. Expand your belly. Expand your legs and feet. Feel totally relaxed from the top of your head to your feet. Allow yourself to relax and expand. For your health, for your beauty and to get guided. Sit for 10 min. 

Slowly open your eyes. Good night sleep!  

à Paris

I've done a test on which city should I live in and the result was bien-aimé Paris. Now I keep on thinking when and how... Has been in my thoughts for a while to get dipped into French culture. 

If you want to play with it yourself, here is the link:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/ashleyperez/what-city-should-you-actually-live-in

Let me know which result you've got!

x

:))

Good morning! Hope you've rested well. I would need a couple of more early nights I think. Lately I got caught up into internet browsing, Facebook and other delicious disturbances so my undereyes are showing clear exhaustion. Heading to climb Primrose Hill soon and then continuing my edit with a fresh head.     

Sleeping in early tonight

The most effective way for me to feel refreshed is an early bed. Have found a link to dr. Wilson's blog which is comprehensively explaining why: Dr Wilson on sleep. Good night everyone!

Where are we going?

How Long Will Life Survive on Earth? According to scientists we have less than a billion years: http://www.universetoday.com/25367/how-long-will-life-survive-on-earth/. All this material development we are achieving today one day will not mean much - as it will be too hot here. Or maybe it will as we will figure out how to live here or on another planet in any circumstances?

The closest philosophy to me is the one exploring the possibility of us human beings evolving our vibration and live in other dimension which our senses can't sense yet. And you? Where are you and your next generations going?   

Practicing gratitude

Practicing gratitude - as it makes me feel really good and I think it also helps me healing the cold.

Reading and meditating on John Demartini's:

Gratitude: The key to loving each day and gaining from every experience that occurs 

Loving it! 

Healing the cold

Aiping Wang

At home today, having a nasty cold. Listening to a meditation CD from my first deep relaxation and natural laws teacher Aiping Wang. She says: be natural and don't force things, Vesna. Let the energy flow through you. Let the energy do the work. 

Eating propolis, oranges and nettle tea. Hope it sorts me out soon.

xx 

The history of meditation can be traced back over 4000 years ago

Wonderful guidance into meditation from Silent Journey Blog:

Sit in a comfortable chair with your feet flat on the floor, and close your eyes. 
Take a few slow, deep breaths. 
Imagine a warm, glowing light surrounding each body part, as it glides over. 
First, focus your attention on your feet. 
Relax each and every toe, moving your way up your ankles and to your calves. 
Continue all the way up your body, until your entire being is surrounded in the warm, glowing light. 
If you have thoughts that come to your mind during this session, just let them float away as fast as they came in.

x

Catch up dinner

Great dinner last night and a headache afterwards. Recovering from late going-to-bed. Relaxing my shoulders, neck and particularly my brain. Not in the mood to edit, going for a massage to a friend.

Relax well! 

Inspiration :)

Jan Plestenjak

Mum surprised me with a concert just before the new year. One of my favorite Slovene singers. He sings mostly soft romantic songs. In the interviews comes across fairly wise. He loves spending time at the same place at Slovene seaside my mum  loves (Strunjan). 

He's been musician all of his life and his beginnings were quite clumsy, but now after more than 20 years - he is a diamond: 
Jan Plestenjak - Vecja od neba
Inspired!
   

Famous meditators

Paul McCartney

Paul speaking on how he started with meditation: Paul McCartney on how he found out about meditation. 

Paul is known to be relaxing or half sleeping in times of the Beatles and then got awaken by a tune. Some of those songs became one of the Beatles's most famous.  

Need more motivation for daily practice? :)