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| Sailing Adriatic sea - Hvar, Croatia |
Deep breath in, expanding your diaphragm, deep breath out... and the diaphragm relaxes. Deep breath in, repeat and out...
I've been having tense and at times quite painful upper belly for months - since April. I haven't talked about it to my chiropractic as he works on my spine and I didn't think his methods would work on my belly. Yet tonight, after I last time told him about my issue and worry that something might be seriously wrong with my stomach, he gave me an amazing strong upper belly massage. Really deep release.
And he showed me how to breathe. With life expanding breaths. And he showed me:''You are mostly like this... [slouching] and your diaphragm is contracting.''
And I got it. I organised myself a really sweet, small, protected life. I manage my job well as it is small, small responsibilities, maybe being smiley a bit and I go by. I do not open up for a new man with a good excuse of being too busy, yet I do not open up as a man in my life means a threat to my organised lifestyle. I don't finish my book writing because ''what if a book is a disaster'' - it will make me feel miserable, but even more ''what if my book is a success'' - and I will be exposed to lots of stress and facing the unknown...
My Serbian coffee cup reader says: ''This scenario that you are writing... do that, this will be a success.'' It makes me feel excited, yet also paralyzed.
I am slouching, protecting my littleness. Little lungs, little heart, and now my stomach says it doesn't want to be little. Let's eat big!
I am going to write tonight, forgetting the healthy sleep hours. I need a breakthrough of the slouching littleness.
And if you live in London, a visit to a chiropractor Paul McCrossin http://www.finchleychiro.co.uk is highly recommended. I spend 45 min on a tube each way to get to him.
