Pranayama and shavasana

Lunchtime yoga with Sebastian today. Start with pranayama, finish with shavasana. Feeling fresh, ready to roll on the day. If you want to know more about pranayama, here is a great article from Yoga Journal:

Pranayama and more . I'm off to my Landmark's sex and intimacy evening seminar. 

Healing session with John Vesey

I feel very nice and relaxed though it is very very late. I had a healing session with John Vesey in Teddington and we tackled my relationship issues. I think I am on the right way of healing and issues are now going to be resolved in depth. And then...  - love like a lady ;)

Going to meditate now and start calling in my own powerful energy connection. With strong focus on men I lost 15 years where I did train energetically but men were most of the time my main interest. So I never gave myself to the training fully. NOW is the TIME!! 

Easy, playfully ...

Chris Howard

There has been lots of happening in the last week, I got too involved in it. I feel hard, not easy too relax, meditate or flow sweet energy through the day to keep my wellbeing. So I am going to have a mantra in my head today:  E A S Y, P L A Y F U L L Y :-) 

I first time came across it at Christopher Howard's Breakthrough to Success seminar. He would be describing his martial arts training, how he was very successful at kung fu and then at one point he realized that the best fighters of all martial arts are coming from jiu jitsu and if he wants to win them, he needs to forget kung fu and learn it. Jiu jitsu has this brazilian easy, playfully attitude that allows the energy to flow and express itself as the strongest power (in the world of martial arts).  

If I am taking e a s y, p l a y f u l l y, into my life, of course it makes sense as how can hardness have power? It's hard, unreceptive for fresh energy, so eventually exhausts all its resources. My mind is happy, so let me do some meditation now.    EASY  PLAYFULLY   :-) 

What is obsessive behavior in relationships with men costing me?

So, prediction of my dream came true. The prediction was: ''Your direction (love affair) will be influenced by unconscious childhood trauma, influencing negatively.'' On Thursday morning I woke up all sweaty and had to check the meaning of my dream. This doesn't happen very often, normally I really can't remember what I was dreaming of. As love affair was mentioned I thought it could be something connected with that. 

A day later we had a massive clash with a guy I'd just started to get to know this month. We've talked about our goals and what we both want from life and other meaningful stuff. He would sometimes tease and provoke me a bit, which gave me even more motivation to be clear on things I was describing to him. I felt very vital and productive since our exchange was on. And after two weeks, he would provoke me just a little bit over the top and I exploded: ''If I say to a guy ''I want you'', it means I want you in my life. Not only physically, I see myself with you: living together, travelling together, visiting our parents, having a baby... ''I want you'' are not just flirty words for me. It is REAL. Do you get me you ... '' and I used an insulting word I am really sorry for and I really don't mean he is that. ''And since you are not available it just upsets me.''

Now I only met this guy once. All other exchange was on emails. Yet, my feelings for him were already so intense, like we could speak about living together and having a baby. I became obsessed with him, waking up at 4.30am, checking my email if there is anything new and that would continue throughout the day. 

Before it would be amusing to me, gosh, I am really crazy. My first book describes my heavy infatuation and obsessive behavior and I would be laughing, this woman in the book you know, she is really a bit off. But now I finally see what this is costing me. This sweet and wise man who inspired me so much and made me feel so energetic is now out of my life and doesn't want to speak to me as - no way he wants to have a baby with me, or anything else I described. And plus I insulted him, which really shouldn't happen. And how many times has that happened to me before? 

Negative influence of the unconscious is I think the obsessive behavior I started to explore. I still don't know exactly why I have this behavior. How did it start ..., it's all unconscious. And maybe all together had to happen so I am even more motivated to clean and heal it all.

And then I will finally be ready to love like a lady. ''Love Like A Lady''    I love this song :-)   

Meditation for beauty

Relax your shoulders. Relax your neck. Sit up straight and close your eyes. Though if you close them you can't read this meditation further lol. Relax your forehead. And your cheeks. Concentrate on relaxing every tension on your face. Your mouth can get slightly opened so the jaw is soft, relaxed too. 

Relaxation of your face will expand to other areas of your body though you don't need to think of them except if there is any area really tense. Relax into that area then and when softer come back to your face. Soften into any area of your face that is prone to develop wrinkle lines. And enjoy. Observe your breath. And enjoy. 

Salut - bye! :-)   

Missing my mum and dad

Couldn't remember any unconscious childhood trauma. But maybe it is enough to be warned there is something there. Missing my mum and dad. 

Meditating and sending love to my family.

Have a great weekend!

xxx 

Three french hens

I am having an obsession with everything French. But how do you differentiate from passion and from obsession? If I love something does it mean I am obsessed?

Going deeper into meditation on my obsession. I know something happened in my childhood as I was very very close to my dad and then suddenly over a period of a year we were not that close anymore.   

I love my dad. And my dad loves me. Surrendering deeper into the realm of higher consciousness. Inviting you to go deeper into your meditation practice too. Let me know if anything surprising happens.